I finally did it. I left a snarky note on someone's car in the office parking garage for parking like an asshole (namely, parking smack dab on the line, thus taking up two adjacent spaces). I should mention that it is a definite pain in the ass to park in our garage--big concrete poles every which way, one of which has left an ugly scratch on my front bumper. But you don't see me trying to take double the parking space I'm allotted, do you? No sir. I don't know what it was today, maybe I was a little pissy, and maybe it was just because I happened to have some extra paper in the car. But I pulled in and saw, of all things, a Ford Focus taking up two spots, and I knew it was time to do what I've always wanted. I left this note on the windshield of that damned car:
"Thanks so much for letting us all know how important you and your car are by taking up two parking spaces. What a considerate gesture."
I really felt like writing "thanks for parking like an asshole," but I decided on the sarcasm-laden "polite" version instead. It did make me feel good, I have to say.
Next plan of action: making magnetic bumper stickers that I can put on Hummers when their owners aren't looking. They will say "I bought this car to compensate for my tiny penis".