Thursday, August 21, 2008

The Road to Ridiculousness

Last night I finished reading the very excellent book "The Road", by Cormac McCarthy (seriously, go read it ASAP). The book was a birthday gift from my brother-in-law who I shall refer to as Miguel, as that is his extra-comical alter ego. Here is the actual transcript of a text message conversation I had with Miguel yesterday about the book.

me: OMG that book is SO good! I'm almost finished and i really want to read the rest right now but I have to work :(

Miguel: I told you!!! We will have to see the movie when it comes out!

me: btw, I didn't really enjoy the image of a headless baby charring on a spit. There is some seriously gruesome stuff in that story!

Miguel: Neither did I! But it's the only source of food! I hear it tastes like dolphin!

me: You're never babysitting.

Miguel: My plan worked!

me: I knew you were up to something! :) dolphin is pretty yummy, btw

Miguel: That's why they put it in tuna!

I should mention that Miguel is an artist and he has an online store at Etsy where he sells pretty cool t-shirts. Just sayin'. Click here to check it out...

Friday, August 15, 2008

thanks for ruining it for me

Why, John Edwards? WHY?????

I liked you. I really, really liked you. You had the perfect family, you pulled through tragedies together and stayed strong. You and your wife seem so cute and down-to-earth. You advocate for the poor and seem to genuinely care about the issues you talk about. I would have voted for you in the primaries if you hadn't dropped out before I had the chance.

So you had an affair. You were married 30 years and you did tell your wife long before it became public. I can almost get over that. You're human, and people make mistakes.

But now I hear you may have paid her off with campaign money? Seriously, I didn't think you had this kind of ickiness in you. I am disappointed. Just wanted to let you know.

P.S. I still like you more than the John Edwards who pretends to communicate with the dead and makes millions off of poor unsuspecting grief-stricken people.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

catching up

I have gotten really behind on my blogging. I think part of it has to do with all the BlogHer coverage that I had been following--it led me to discover some really great blogs and then I just got sort of bummed that I can't churn out award-winning writing in each and every post. Silly, I know...


I am working on a post about a freak accident that happened here at the house a few weeks back. I've even got pictures. I'll post it, eventually.

Maia is on the verge of turning 6 months old. We just started trying to feed her "solid" food, and she pretty much wants nothing to do with it. When I was in grad school I had this huge Jagermeister poster in the kitchen of my apartment. It was bright orange and said "Jager, So Smooth" and had this bearded guy on it who was making a horrible grimace. Presumably he had just taken a shot. That's the face that Maia makes when rice cereal touches her lips or tongue. Or, I could just show you:
I guess my milk is just *that* good that no other food could possibly compare.

Speaking of milk, we went shopping at Target the other day (don't worry, I'll get there). Taking J to Target is always a mistake because he can't help but find tons of things he didn't know he needed or wanted. This trip he came home with an Axe shower kit, among other things. Yes, that Axe--the one with the commercials showing 18-year-old slightly dorky guys with hot blonde chicks falling all over them in the elevator after they use some Axe cologne or Axe shower gel. Apparently this advertising works on 34-year-old men as well. "But it's only 6 dollars! And it comes with this shower scrubber." Making him put it back would have been risking a tantrum so I let it slide.

I had Maia in a sling and she had started mouthing my neck, so I knew that she was getting hungry. The only thing I had left to buy was a card, so I told J I was going to head over to the card section and to meet me there. I picked out a card while Maia pecked at me like an uncoordinated chicken, and when I was finished there was still no sign of J. I started to wander back through the furniture section, where on display was a particularly attractive Ikea-style black couch, right on the end of the aisle. So, I thought "why not?", took a seat, whipped out a boob and nursed Maia right there. (See, I told you I'd get to the milk). Now, I did cover up...I don't mind nursing in public but when you are an F-cup you really don't need to attract any more gawkers than is really necessary. The only person that even paid any attention to me was an old lady who wanted to know "is that couch comfortable? I saw it in a box over there." I told her that yes, it seemed to be doing the job, at which point she actually noticed that I was nursing and apologized for interrupting. J finally wandered back around and we were able to get out of the store with only a short stop in the electronics department. I'll let you know how the Axe works out for us.