Friday, June 30, 2006

so far today,

I have:

1) Locked myself out of the house. J had already left for work. I called him from the neighbors' (the only neighbors we really have any sort of relationship with are the retired couple next door. She has ulcerative colitis--I know because she's spent a LOT of time telling me about it--and for some reason was wearing a piece of scotch tape across her forehead and going all the way around her head. Maybe it was meant to match the housecoat? I digress...) and luckily he was able to call his dad, who works nearby and has a key to the house, to come and let me in. I did have to wait almost 40 minutes, during which time I walked the dog up and down the block--taking her for a walk was the reason I went outside in the first place--picked up one poop, and sprinted away from another one as I had no more baggies. She kept trying to squat but I made her run home, cruel, I know. I hear you can get hemmorrhoids from holding it in, but hopefully that doesn't apply to dogs.

2) Finished the big powerpoint presentation I've been working on for days, went to send it out to the client, copying some of the higher-ups on my e-mail, only to send it out with no attachment. I am chalking the flakiness up to pre-4-day-weekend-brain fog.

3) Found out that "bringing the gifts to the altar"--the task I've been assigned at a Catholic wedding ceremony tomorrow (J is a groomsman)--means I will be carrying the bread and wine (before it gets transmogrified into Jesus meat and Jesus juice, of course) up to the priest. If the church doesn't burn down we will have had a successful day. I also think I should probably not wear the animal-print, cleavage-baring dress I bought for the occasion until the reception.

Have a great weekend, everybody!

Sunday, June 25, 2006

easily amused

Stupid laugh of the day: Hitler Cats

The latest event to remind me that I'm becoming an out-of-touch old fogey:

I step up to the window at Scoopy Doo's to order my ice cream. It is Friday night, and the place is staffed by teenagers. It is almost closing time, and they are a bit rambunctious, playing hip-hop and jumping around. I give my order, and they swarm to the window, yelling: "Drop it like it's hot, and you'll get your ice cream for free! DROP IT LIKE IT'S HOT!! COME ON, DROP IT LIKE IT'S HOT!".

I look at the girl. "Um, I'm too old to know what that even means. I have no idea what it is you want me to do." As they looked at me, I could feel the hairs on my head losing their pigment and my breasts inching more quickly toward the ground. They gave up and asked for my order again. They tried the same thing on J, who saved the day by reciting his order AND dropping it like it's hot *simultaneously*, even adding a provocative thrust at the end. He is my hero.

Monday, June 12, 2006

one of the joys of telecommuting

Maybe it's because we were away most of the weekend...but it's probably just because he's such a slut. This is where Monty has parked himself this morning, and I swear he got into this position all by himself:

Sunday, June 11, 2006

all you need is LOVE

The Girl and The Boy got hitched yesterday! It was sweet and also kind of muddy ceremony followed by a rockin' reception, both held on a very lovely property. A good time was had by all, to be sure. I was honored to be included in the big day. Congratulations to the happy couple!! :)

Saturday, June 03, 2006

church camp

Just got back from a long-awaited communion with nature. 5 nights camping in Acadia National Park (that's in Maine, on the Atlantic Ocean, in case you didn't know).

Beautiful pine forests, with floors of granite interspersed with soft spongy beds of pine needles and moss. Ferns springing forth from every surface. From rocky summits, grand views of treed islands and hidden lakes. Muscles flexing to scramble up just one more hill of rocks to see what lies beyond. Waves crashing against rocky shores. At night, stars and silence; cool forest mists. At every turn, life plentiful and spectacular. Warm rain falling against our skin as we stumble over rocks along the wooded lakeshore, thunder and pines our only chaperones.

"Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play and pray in, where Nature may heal and cheer and give strength to body and soul alike." -John Muir