Friday, May 20, 2005

I don't really want to see your junk

My future brother-in-law is an up-and-coming performer. Mostly musicals--he recently toured with Starlight Express, a very deep, emotionally-charged musical loosely based on The Little Engine That Could. On roller skates. And with costumes that were apparently designed by either the animators of "The Transformer" or the costume team from the movie Tron. He does a play here and there as well--I went to a reading of his (along with his parents, brothers, and an aunt) for a play in which he played a gay teenager in the 50's who gets involved with a local priest. The play kind of sucked, but the worst part was watching his father (my future father-in-law) watch *him* as he groped another man's package and kissed a priest onstage. Honestly I think his father would have been more comfortable with it were it not for the fact that his son is gay in real life. That said, I should mention that his parents are extremely supportive of him and his career and, while his dad probably would prefer that he wasn't gay, they accept him and have a very good relationship with him.

But tonight, we get to see him naked. Onstage. In Hair. Now, I'm really excited to see Hair. Normally I am not so fond of musicals, but this is a classic that appeals to my not-so-inner bohemian. I've seen the movie but never the live performance. I asked my fiance, "wouldn't it be funny if he got naked and all the sudden this huge Ron Jeremy-sized wang came flying out, hitting the stage with a massive 'thud'?" He replied "you wish," to which I said "yes, I wish your gay brother had a huge schlong..." Then I saw what he was getting at--the genetics and all--so I had to reassure him that his package is, indeed, more than satisfactory to meet my needs. (Men are ridiculous when it comes to this subject. As long as I can actually feel it when it's in, it's big enough, and the rest is up to you, honey).

Anyway, the moral of the story is that I was pleased to hear that our seats are in the back. Waaay in the back...

3 comments:

ergo said...

Manchester England, England!

Hair is one of my favorite musicals.

And not just for the nudity...

BeckyBumbleFuck said...

Oh, I *don't* know what you mEan? Boys fixate on the size of their penis and the sizes of the penises of every other boy in close proximity and how this reflects on their manliness and how the world views them...and blah, blah, blah, oh, god. Would they paaahlease get over it?
(and thanks for that little graphic on your view of a boy's size...*laughing...*)

Chrysanthemum said...

I like to refer to D as "pleasantly average." I find that it's a real ego boost for him.