Monday, October 01, 2007

random Monday ramblings

This week I really started to feel the baby move on more of a regular basis. It's a pretty strange sensation that's been described as "like popcorn popping", "like a goldfish inside you that's too small for its bowl" and "like a bird flapping its wings". In my experience it really feels pretty close to how it feels when you have a bunch of gas bubbles gurgling around. The difference is that the gas eventually makes its way to places where you know the baby's not going...

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Common courtesy is really slipping these days. Last weekend we attended the wedding of some people I would barely register as acquaintances. J went to high school with the groom, but the few times we have socialized with the groom +/- bride have been through occasions arranged by a mutual friend (one of J's best friends is pretty close to the groom). To top it off, no one liked the bride. When your own bridesmaids are talking about what an evil person you are at your own wedding, well, enough said. Anyway, J and I had a slight argument over how much to give for the wedding gift (east coast tradition is to generally give cash). I argued for a lesser amount (one that would certainly cover the costs of our attendance, plus a decent amount), considering that we barely know the couple. J argued for a higher amount, and I eventually conceded on the grounds that perhaps I could stand to be a tad more generous. We gave them a Home Depot gift card, since they recently bought a home together.

We were not expecting a lavish reception, and our expectations were not in the least surpassed. In J's words "I've been to receptions that used paper cups and plates, but I've never been to one that didn't at least have champagne for the toast". Also, why on earth would you set out corkscrews at the tables and then never bring any bottles to the tables? That's just a cruel tease. (Of course I, in my present condition, was the designated driver so no matter to me).

To get to my point (yes, finally, I know!)...we received a thank-you note from the couple within 2 days of the wedding. It was a photo card with a pre-printed message inside, and THEY DID NOT EVEN SIGN IT. So this means that they probably hadn't even opened the gifts before they put the cards in the mail. To be fair, our wedding thank you notes were similar...they did have a pre-printed message, but I wrote something personal in each and every one of those cards, because we really appreciated everyone's presence and generosity and I wanted everyone to know it. Is it too much to ask to just sign your own names on a card when people--especially people you BARELY KNOW--have taken the time to go to your wedding and give you a pretty generous gift? My mom taught me to write thank you notes and you can bet your ass that my kids will be taught to write them too. Sheesh.

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Last night I dreamed that we went for an ultrasound, and the doctors told us that, according to their findings, the baby had a 20% chance of having either Down syndrome or psoriasis. It's so interesting how things get mish-moshed around in your dreams.

6 comments:

karaokekitty said...

Psoriasis? Where did that come from? LOL! But I know what you mean, I have some of the weirdest dreams sometimes. It's like our brains are big toilets needing a good flush now and again! Hehe, gives new meaning to the phrase "shit-for-brains"... Anyway, what a wedding! I want details!!! Talk to you soon. *Mentally rubbing your tummy*

Mary Beth said...

Sweet Jesus! Not psoriasis!

Isn't it fun to feel the baby! I remember the "Hmmm, I guess that isn't gas feeling.

We didn't have champagne for the toast at our wedding, but you'd better be damn sure everyone got a thank you note. And I've never understood giving enough cash to cover your meal at the reception. That is so foreign to my Southern sensibilities.

Kat E said...

MB, your wedding was lovely. I don't even remember there not being champagne but that was probably because we all went back to our hotel and got loaded afterwards ;)

It's interesting how wedding traditions differ so much from east coast to midwest to south. I was always used to giving an actual object as a gift but here it's pretty much all cash and usually way more than I'm used to giving (but then again I started going to weddings when I was in grad school and had no money...)

justagirl said...

My first wedding didn't have champagne either because we were dirt poor and the reception was in the basement of our very conservative church, where people would have fainted dead away if a drop of alcohol had been detected within 50 yards. But yea, personal thank you cards were and are a MUST.

I remember feeling my daughter move for the first time too, and it is the most amazing feeling ever to realize that it's not gas but an actual living human inside of you! Too cool.

fishlamp said...

You'd be proud: we mailed our 100% hand-written thank you notes out three weeks after our wedding. Personalized and everything!

(You can see some of our wedding pics on our joint Flickr account... I'll make you a contact so you can see them)

;)

Kel Bel said...

I know it is the tradition on the east coast, but I hate the idea of giving cash. Most of the time I hate the idea of even giving gift certificates if I know the people well, because, well, gift giving should be personal and to me, neither cash nor gift cards are especially personal.

The idea of giving "enough" to cover the "cost" of your meal is also foreign to me. It's a celebration, not a fundraiser or a potluck. But like you, when most of my friends got married I could barely afford to attend the wedding, let alone buy an expensive gift. My "punt" gift was usually a nice bottle of champagne.

It's also interesting what degree of gift is considered generous in various places. In my little hometown, spending $30-50 on a gift is the norm (sometimes there are no more expensive things on the registry to buy even if you wanted to), whereas that would be considered embarrassingly cheap almost anywhere else and especially anywhere on the east coast.

Anyhoo, that's my stream of consciousness this evening. And may your baby have baby-smooth skin :)