because my brain wasn't mushy enough...

Reality TV I have watched this week:

"Beauty and the Geek". Not entirely sure what the setup of this show was, but I caught the "elimination round" in which two couples (each of which consisted of a vapid, cute girl, and a geeky guy) faced off: the guys answered pop culture questions while the girls got questions on politics and history. My favorite part was when one of the vapid girls was asked "Who was the president of the United States during the Civil War?" When told that it was not Hoover (her answer), but, in fact, Abraham Lincoln, she grimaced "Oh! D-day!". Yeah, I don't get it either.

"Britney & Kevin: Chaotic". Britney is a trashy whore. Kevin is a trashy gold-digging idiot. But you already knew that. So did I--maybe that's why I felt compelled to watch their show.

"Dancing with the Stars." Semi-washed-up celebrities, paired up with professional ballroom dancers, compete (perhaps for the title "Most Desperate for Publicity"?). Evander Holyfield hammed it up and was pretty smooth; Trista Rehn of "Bachelorette" fame was stiff and awkward. I have no idea why I watched this. I was probably hoping someone would really fuck up.

"Hit Me Baby One More Time". 80s artists perform current hits in this well, retarded, competition. I guess last night was the first episode. Loverboy did a horrendous rendition of Enrique Inglesias' "Hero", and Tiffany butchered Kelly Clarkson's "Breakaway". I always hated Tiffany (she was popular as I was entering my rebellious metal phase), but last night proved that she is talentless as well as annoying. Arrested Development delivered the winning performance with their cover of the Los Lonely Boys song "Heaven". And they deserved it--they were the only band to actually infuse their own real style into their performance. They started out a little shaky but as they really got into it, they rocked the house. Oh my god, I think I got way too into this one...this is going to be a LONG summer of reality TV...