Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Wedding Nuggets

Seeing as approximately 90% of my readers actually attended my wedding, there is really no need to describe every detail that happened that day. So here are some nuggets of behind-the-scenes stuff you may or may not have known about.

First, highlights of our post-rehearsal-dinner karaoke festival:

--Jeremy's brothers singing the Hillary-and-Haylie-Duff version of "Our Lips are Sealed"
--My dad jerking violently during a song, in an apparent attempt to emulate Joe Cocker
--A duet by mine and J's father, though I can't remember the song
--Finding out that I'd sung "Baby Got Back" with my sister and friend S in front of all my conservative relatives. I have no recollection of this.

Next, interesting tidbits about the wedding day:

--On the way to the wedding, our limo (me and the bridesmaids) was stopped by a dog who decided to step out into the middle of the road and stare directly at the front of the car. After what seemed like minutes but was probably only 10 or 15 seconds, the dog stepped aside and let us pass. I found out a few days later that the dog had done the *exact same thing* to the limo when it brought my husband and his groomsman to the wedding, about an hour later. Hope he wasn't trying to stop us...!

--Since the girls and I got there early, and we had been told to wait in the farmhouse, which is apparently where the former owners of the farm live (the wedding venue is a christmas tree farm with a big reception hall. The owners ran the place until just recently, and Amanda, one of the former owners, still works there). Anyway, we walked up to the farmhouse, and there was a younger couple cooking breakfast and a very, very old woman sitting at the kitchen table. They looked at us like we had 18 heads until we explained who we were and tried to get confirmation that this was where we were supposed to be. I think they grunted at us or something, and we were then led to a sitting room in the back. The whole place was probably built in 1847, and hadn't really been updated a whole lot since then. The best part was that when I had to use the bathroom, my sister had to come in with me to help me navigate the handicapped apparatus that surrounded the toilet so that I wouldn't get my dress entangled in it.

--My dad and I arrived at the ceremony in a horse-drawn carriage. During the ride, my dad called the horse "Rusty", and asked the girls driving the carriage if they'd fed "Rusty" any beefaroni.

--As I approached the altar, J cocked his head, pointed at me, and mouthed my name questioningly. This was a very sweet, in-joke gesture, because it's exactly what he did the first time we laid eyes on each other. We met online and when we went to meet in person, I arrived first. When he walked into the bar, he did that to be sure he was walking up to the right girl. I always remembered it and teased him about it sometimes, but thought it was really cute. I loved that he did that at the wedding.

--The first thing I did when I got up to the altar was pull a hankie out of my cleavage to wipe my nose. J laughed in disbelief.

--During the ceremony I was both cold and a little nervous. One of my ass muscles starting shaking involuntarily (my whole leg and ass was twitching!), and I was wondering if people could tell.

--At some point before we were introduced into the reception, our head table caught fire (let's just say I learned my lesson about the quality of the candle holders at the Christmas Tree Shops). Some of the groomsmen put it out by throwing their glasses of water on it.

--No one wanted to catch the bouquet because they were scared of having to interact with the guy who caught the garter. I had to throw it twice before someone (ahem, Ergo!) would claim it, and then she hadn't even caught it--it had hit her in the chest and everyone said that was enough.

--My mother-in-law arranged for some special dances at the reception. I was made to stand alone on the dance floor, while the DJ explained that my mother-in-law was excited to have another girl around, since she'd had only sons. Then he played "It's Raining Men" while every male relative in the whole place surrounded me in gyrating dance moves. Of course no one could top my brother-in-law Mike, who came out first and has the best moves ever, including the one where he slides over to you on his knees. After my dance, she did the same thing to J, playing "Just a Gigolo" and having all the girls surround him. A few unruly older cousins actually started undressing him on the dance floor.

--They played "Copacabana," and a huge spontaneous conga line broke out. My mother even joined in.

--I have never danced like such a fool while sober in my entire life. I think I had maybe 2 glasses of champagne and one rum & coke the whole day. OK, I also had 2 glasses of champagne in the limo on the way to the wedding, but unlike the groom, I was not armed with a flask full of Buttershots.

--After the reception, we went to the casino in full wedding attire. Most people paid no attention, but I did get cornered in the bathroom by a drunken lady who went on for 10 minutes about how beautiful I was and how I should be on the cover of a magazine. That's probably the best interaction I'll ever have in terms of being cornered by a drunk.

--We made our foray into the high-limit slots area, where J put $50 into a machine and doubled his money on the first pull. A good sign for the marriage, we hope?!

--At the end of the night, we went to our room at the casino, which J's mom had booked for us. She'd checked us in and taken care of getting our bags there too. In addition to the champagne, chocolates, and fake rose petals on the bed (which was a nice gesture but a little creepy since it implies that your parents are well aware that you'll be gettin' it on later), they had asked for an upgrade, so we ended up in handicapped room. We decided not to read anything in to that.

--The next morning, a bunch of relatives and friends met for brunch at one of the casino's buffet restaurants. These places have an *unspeakable* amount of food. We were highly amused when, while we were in the middle of gorging ourselves on omelets, pastries, and soft-serve ice cream, a Karen Carpenter song came on.

I have absolutely no complaints about anything that day, except that it was over way too soon. Despite having the wedding during a record rainy period for this area, it stopped/slowed enough for us to have the wedding outside (in a covered pavilion which was not our original choice but which actually ended up being better), and to have our outdoor pictures. And of course it was more than wonderful to have all of our friends and family there...I am actually even looking forward to sending the thank-you notes :)


Big Ed said...

Sounds like a blast...congrats again on all the future fun!

kristin said...

Hehe... I'm laughing at the head table fire (I'm glad it was easily put out) and the dog that stopped both the limos (maybe he just wanted to bless you before the big moment). Congratulations again. :)

BeckyBumbleFuck said...

Awwwww! That bit about "sarah" with the hand movement is completely adorable! I'm glad I didn't see it, or I would have cried at the ceremoney and owed J $10, instead of 5.
No, we couldn't detect the twitching.
Ant the whole "it's raining men" routine really caught me off guard. I was scared for you and almost thought we'd have to intiate a rescue mission...
Oh, and I'm LMAO about the handicapped room...I think they WERE trying to tell you something....!