Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Housekeeping

Before I moved in with J, I had one simple rule: I don't do garbage. I mean, I knew I'd get stuck with the majority of the household tasks, so I just wanted to lay it down right then and there. I never wanted to take the garbage out again. This is probably because in my last apartment I lived on the third floor, so taking the garbage out meant going all the way downstairs--not forgetting the keys since the doors locked automatically--and then going into the darkest corner of the parking lot to the dumpster, where sometimes a homeless man would be hanging out to collect the recyclables, touching the nasty dumpster lid, and then taking the 3 flights back up to my apartment.

Well, my friends, I believe that I have just discovered a household task that makes taking the garbage out seem like a day watching monkeys fondle themselves at the zoo (which, in case there's any doubt, is something I would consider FUN):

The worst household task EVER is having to fix an inside-out plunger after having frantically plunged a crap-clogged toilet. It's bad enough when the thing goes inside-out mid-plunge as the water rises in the clogged bowl, because then you don't know if it'll still work or if you'll end up with shit water all over your cream-colored bathroom rug. But then you have to deal with the fear of that thing splashing shit-water at your face as you try to put it right (and you can't just put it back on the floor inside-out because, well let's just say one should never have to see what's on the inside of the plunger after a frantic plunging).

8 comments:

Mary Beth said...

I believe that you have, indeed, identified the job worse than having to touch the nasty dumpster lid. Here's what I do: Lower the seat (not the lid) and step on it with one foot. Then try to knock the plunger right-side-out again by pulling it up against the inside lip of the seat. Sometimes it works, sometimes not.

I had to plunge the garbage disposal yesterday. It was bad enough having the get the bathroom plunger and put it in my kitchen sink (which I cleaned thoroughly afterward), but then the entire contents of the disposal came flying out all over me. Not as bad as touching the working end of the plunger, but enough to send me running to the shower immediately.

You crack me up.

Kat E said...

Well, I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one who has plunged frantically enough to turn the plunger inside out! So thanks for the tip, and sorry about your disposal incident!!

Mary Beth said...

Well, I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one who has plunged frantically enough to turn the plunger inside out!

Um, yeah. More than once.

karaokekitty17 said...

Let me just say...Eeeeewwwwwwww!

Jennifer said...

Add me to the list of folks who've been there. Definitely not pretty. You have my sympathies.

Chrysanthemum said...

Ah shit, that's funny... Sorry, couldn't resist.

I've actually taken the thing outside and righted it out in the grass.

Which leads me to think that one of the worst jobs out there is septic tank pumper.

Kat E said...

Ah, C-mum, what took you so long to respond to a poop post!?!? I thought you'd sniff this one right out! (hee hee!)

Jay said...

It seems a little harder to convince someone else of doing that chore, though...