Friday, June 30, 2006

so far today,

I have:

1) Locked myself out of the house. J had already left for work. I called him from the neighbors' (the only neighbors we really have any sort of relationship with are the retired couple next door. She has ulcerative colitis--I know because she's spent a LOT of time telling me about it--and for some reason was wearing a piece of scotch tape across her forehead and going all the way around her head. Maybe it was meant to match the housecoat? I digress...) and luckily he was able to call his dad, who works nearby and has a key to the house, to come and let me in. I did have to wait almost 40 minutes, during which time I walked the dog up and down the block--taking her for a walk was the reason I went outside in the first place--picked up one poop, and sprinted away from another one as I had no more baggies. She kept trying to squat but I made her run home, cruel, I know. I hear you can get hemmorrhoids from holding it in, but hopefully that doesn't apply to dogs.

2) Finished the big powerpoint presentation I've been working on for days, went to send it out to the client, copying some of the higher-ups on my e-mail, only to send it out with no attachment. I am chalking the flakiness up to pre-4-day-weekend-brain fog.

3) Found out that "bringing the gifts to the altar"--the task I've been assigned at a Catholic wedding ceremony tomorrow (J is a groomsman)--means I will be carrying the bread and wine (before it gets transmogrified into Jesus meat and Jesus juice, of course) up to the priest. If the church doesn't burn down we will have had a successful day. I also think I should probably not wear the animal-print, cleavage-baring dress I bought for the occasion until the reception.

Have a great weekend, everybody!

7 comments:

karaokekitty said...

Far too much wine last night! What a way to start the day! I hope as the day wore on it got better. >^..^<

kristin said...

Niiiiice. My favorite part of this story is the scotch tape around your neighbor's head. I love old people.

ergo said...

C'mon God is totally down with the animal print.

Kat E said...

Still no ideas on the tape, guys, sorry!

On a positive note, I delivered the pre-transmogrification flesh safely to the priest, and the animal print enjoyed a good run at the reception. :)

Jay said...

And how is your dog doing?

Kat E said...

Jay, you are so kind to ask, but as far as I can tell, no permanent damage has been done! ;) Now to help her get through another fireworks season (her absolute worst fear, the poor thing!)

Lever said...

Damn, is it too late to say "wear stag horns"? Ah, rats, it is...