Friday, April 21, 2006

I resigned from my job this week, which turned out to be a lot more complicated than I'd anticipated. Offers, counteroffers, counter-counteroffers...well, it *is* nice to be wanted, I suppose. Truth be told, I'm not particularly passionate about my career. However, it's something I can do fairly well and the money's pretty decent. I suppose the same could be said for some of the Craigslist "Gigs" my friend V was telling me about yesterday. A man in the northwest suburbs of Chicago is willing to pay $500 a pop (plus travel) for a weekly foot-job or handjob, performed topless. I mean, come on, $500 for a handjob! Maybe she was right to be tempted. I did warn her that, for that sum, chances are that there's a camera hidden in the closet and she'd soon end up on handjobsluts dot com, masturbatory fodder for nasty men worldwide. Somewhere else in the burbs, a couple was seeking a topless woman to film them having sex. The job pays $100. If anything, Craigslist--like the ads in the back of alternative weeklies--is a fascinating glimpse into human nature.

But I digress (and have probably just added a whole slew of dangerous search results to my blog). My new job is in the same industry I'm currently in, but the big change is that I'll be working out of my home for a Chicago-based company. I'm very much looking forward to no more commuting, but am a little worried about being cooped up in the house all day. I may have to rig up the TV with a mini electric fence and put on a shock collar each morning so that I won't be tempted to take Springer breaks. My other worry is that I'll be distracted with house cleaning. I suggested to J that we hire the Merry Maids to come in every other week, but I don't think I've sold him on it yet. Anway, I'm sure I'll have a lot to chronicle as I transition to the telecommuting life. If nothing else, I'll keep you posted on V's career search...

8 comments:

kristin said...

Congratulations! I worked from home in 2002-2003 and my house was never cleaner and thats when I learned to cook. It's not that you'll spend all all your time away from my desk, but when your at an office, you'd go to the water cooler, now you'll go to your sink and while your there, why not wipe it down. Or you'll think about what to cook for dinner, so you can leave "work" at 6:00 and go to the store. Not to say that I didn't have Springer on in the background some days and didn't leave my PJs on until 3... just call those new "office perks."

Kat E said...

Those kind of perks sound pretty good to me! :) They are doing a "background check" on me right now so who knows, they might rescind the offer... Who knew that they actually want to *talk to* the references you give? God, I hope those people remember me!

karaokekitty17 said...

If they call me, I'll tell 'em all about your wild parties and fetishistic tendencies... j/k. I think as long as you're not a felon, you are ok! I won't let you get completely house-bound - I'll take you out for lunch often! Do they have lunch karaoke anywhere? I don't think so. Too bad!

PS How's the cold? Hope you're feeling better!

Jay said...

Ooh, Pajamaville, here you come!

Lever said...

1. Congrats :D

2. Be careful... you may be on 80 a day before you know it... mugs of tea that is ;)

3. Merry Maids huh? LOL You'll have to rig up a cam for that one :D... oh wait... they'll be cleaning yeah? Ah, shucks...

4. Congrats Again :D

Kat E said...

Lever, I'm pretty sure the Merry Maids don't come dressed in french maid costumes, just so ya know. I hear BBFK is planning on doing some cleaning for you though, so maybe you should shop around for a uniform ;)

Lever said...

She's already got one... she called it her "Birthday Suit" ;)

BeckyBumbleFuck said...

*tsk tsk*
I'm cleaning in the nude, now am I? Was this a small print part of the "move to England" contract?

LMAO.